Too old not to have one

It's true. On Sunday I turn "wicked old". 26. This is the first birthday that is actually causing me aging anxiety. 25, now that's still young. That's still college age. Plenty of time to spare before my baby-bearing time runs out and I have to dedicate my life to the dozens of cats that I've picked up in alleys as I wandered in the streets all alone...by myself. 25 is on the other end of the timeline from that. But 26! That's right there. The dot on the timeline right before the one that says "start wearing a mu-mu, stop bathing so much, and find more cats".

I had a dream the other night that my mom had me meet her at my grandma's house. We were supposed to go through her jewelry and pick out a ring for me. We weren't having any luck, so I went into another room. I found a bunch of ring boxes. They were so cool! I was more interested in the boxes than the rings. But Mom insisted that I pick out a ring, so I chose one that looked like it may be made out of brass. It was antiquey but kind of odd and cheap looking. What did I care? It was just a ring. I told mom that I found one, and asked her why I needed it. "Because. You are too old not to have one." This was my wedding ring. I was an embarrassment to my family by not being married, so if I couldn't tie the knot, I could at least look like I had.

Then came the banquet hosted by Mom and Grandma to which every guy I have ever dated was invited. I sat at the head of the table and I must say, I handled the situation very smoothly. Cool hand Nora. Bring it on grandma! If I'm letting my family down, I'm doing it with style.